April 27, 2008

• Oh Dear Lord

  I WON XANGAN IDOL! Holy crap. Who the hell voted for me? You guys are nuts, but I’ll roll with it. 

  As promised, caramel bownies anyone?    Are you a fan of delicious flavor?

  What sucks is, Nori (AmandasBiggestFan) worked her butt off for eternity and while she got huge eprops and heavy footprints on her site, she still doesn’t have LIFE. If you’re not using your credits, you should pop on over to her page and reward her time and efforts. Any xanga minis I receive, I fully intend to return them to her. Afterall, she introduced me to all of you. (Super cheesy. I know.)

  I just unloaded all my credits on her, so here’s my account: 

                                           

  Feel free to do the same, she deserves it. 

  Today was greatness. It was mom’s fiftieth birthday and we had cake. Then I had seventy-something people tell me they liked me by their votes.  But the cake was GREAT. We had Barbie Birthday accessories hung everywhere under the pre-text that she was young at heart. It was my subtle attempt to embarrass her since she’d already put the kabosh on big black “Over The Hill” balloons and decor.  It was great to be with my family again, I laughed all day.

                        

  Due to the military, I’ve lived in other states for almost three years now. Today, we just sat around the table BS’ing and making fun of each other. My grandpa and I watched old westerns talking about the realities and unlikeliness of the difficult fantasy shootouts they performed. My brother and I explained the policy of “RickRolling” to the elders  of the table  and discussed the FLDS compound bust. In case any of you are just tuning in, all that Mormon child abuse business is happening here in my home town.  They’re now asking my church members to take some of these babies into their homes for foster parenting until things can be sorted out. They’ve made so many strict rules about the foster houses to keep the kids from suffering too much culture shock. The compound kids seem to be doing well.  They’re describing their time here more like a great field trip than a child custody case. Within the first week of their arrival, they were let out in the afternoons for playtime or a “recess” if you will. The children were so used to hard labor in their everyday life, that instead of playing, they spent all their playtime picking up rocks from the yard and straightening out the landscaping.  How sad….

  There’s currently 16 different news crew vans that show up at every hearing. It’s still strange to turn on CNN and see the courthouse steps I’ve grown up around. See:

  

  It was clearly a bad hair day. 

   I also got to see the world’s MOST ANNOYING commercial. I’ll indulge you.

  Somebody buy from this guy so he’ll shut the hell up. I have to admit, it’s catchy…(and just like, a mini mall.)

  Thanks for everything ya’ll. More hilarity to come now that things are back to normal. Remember to visit the other candidate’s websites. Redheadedcelt promised erotica and QCcan knows stuff about horses. I mean Norses. Is that a greek horse? 

  Be funky fresh!

  • 11:13 pm
  • 44 Comments