August 5, 2008

• Nine Weeks

      Nine weeks  down, only 217 more days to go. With this baby update,  I’d like to offer a little advice to those of you who don’t have kids or who have just begun your child bearing journey. Although I’ve only been a parent for two years, my daughter makes up for YEARS of expertise. So  here are a few pearls I think you might enjoy.

  1. Always keep your toilet bowls clean. You never know whose hands will end up in them. Or whose watch… or shoes…  purse, etc.

   <— best book ever.

  2. Cold pizza isn’t just the ultimate hangover food from college.  Cold pizza crusts make great teething rings and it’s a great start for your child’s all-American diet.

  3. Don’t be afraid of bugs, slugs,  frogs, small snakes  or other creepy things. Your kids won’t be and they will present these ‘gifts’ to you on a regular basis.

  4. Anytime you hear a “thunk” sound  when your boy is a baby, you will get up to calm the screaming that ensues. Anytime you hear a “thunk” with an older boy and you don’t hear screaming, you will still have to get up. There’s usually a concussion. Or worse.

  

   

  5. Tell them from an early age it’s okay to stand on toys and jump from high furniture. They’re going to do it anyway so save yourself from having to yell ‘no’ all the time. 

  6. Hot objects attract small fingers with a magnetic quality.

  7. If your children are not reliant on a pacifier, MAKE THEM become so. It’s the only on-demand silence you can have.

  8. Bed time and nap time are golden.

  9. When you feel like buying a drink from a trendy coffee place, get it iced with a straw so your child can have some too.  Caffiene puts children (under the age of puberty) to sleep. You deserve that.

  10. As everyone already knows,  the BOX the toy comes in will inevitably be more fun to play with than the toy itself. The more expensive the toy = the more fun the box.

  These tips, brought to you by the riveting: Life_By_Us

  We’re nine weeks along today. Here’s what’s going on in my uterus.

   

  Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She’s starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they’ll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby’s heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic “tail” is completely gone. Your baby’s organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won’t be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks.

  • 10:44 pm
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