December 23, 2008

• I’m CA, not the CA

   Snippets of conversations heard around me:
   
  “I told someone to take it easy today. He told me if it was easy to take it home.”
   
  “Is it mean to ask a pregnant lady, “Are you only being an asshole to me because of the baby inside of you?”
   
   
  Conversation:
  *phone rings*
  “Crime Analysis, this is Amanda.”
  “Hello, city auditorium. I need tickets to Willy Wonka for four. How much will that cost?”
  “I think you have the wrong number. This is Crime Analysis.”
  “Look, I just need a price. I don’t know if I want to purchse them yet. I’ll probably get them at the door.”
  “No sir, I don’t have tickets. This is Cri-”
  “You couldn’t have already sold out. The show’s not that good.”
  “Sir, you have the wrong number. I can give you the number to the Auditor-”
  “Look girl, I just wanted a damn ticket price.  You are absolutely no friggin help.”
  *click*
  Me = still holding phone to my ear, “WTF?!?”
   
  So my office mate is hilarious. He always keeps a very serious face on, so when I first met him, I swore he had no sense of humor. However, he’s very much a dead-pan humor guy. Have I mentioned I love my job? Apparently  the city directory  has my number flip flopped with the City Auditorium…. I guess we’re similar, our initials are both C.A. I think that’s pretty close… except that it’s NOTHING ALIKE AT ALL.
   
   
  Several of my coworkers are smart aleks. I love it. For secret Santa, I got a Dead Fred pen holder. http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/supplies/a777/ One of the girls seems to duck out of my way every time I walk past her. I want to tell her, “It’s okay, I’m pregnant, I’m not a steam roller. Now get up or I’ll eat you.”
   
  Baby update:
  I’ve established a doctor on my new insurance plan. He’s awesome. I thought I would be a little more concerned about some strange man having to “work” around my va-jay-jay. However, at the last hospital I gave birth at, I had an OB class come by at *just* the right time. Yep. I had ten students in the room all staring at my  female parts. My va-jay-jay got more attention than Britney Spears’  at a comando party. (which is every party for her.)
  I used to be such a nice girl. I used to be such a prude. What happened?
  We’re 29 weeks today which means only about ten more weeks. (Although a full pregnancy is 40 weeks, mine are typically always born at least a week in advance.)
   
   
  Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet his increasing nutritional demands, you’ll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because his bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk. This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby’s hardening skeleton each day

  • 1:04 pm
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