January 11, 2009

• In the Big House Now

  I just discovered I’ve been noted on Spidey’s Xanga. Do you realize that when you ‘re featured  on Spidey’s blog, you’re in?
   I mean, it was pretty well the shiznit to be the first Xangan idol on AvenuetotheReal’s blog. But this is the hugest.  Now in order to achieve total Xanga domination,  I simply have to convince Dan at Theologian’s Cafe to  marry me.  Oh wait… I’m already married. Um.  Maybe he’ll adopt me?

  In other world affecting news, this parasite will be out from inside of me in simply 58 more days. Lately she’s been waking me up at night. She get’s the hiccups, get’s pissed and kicks me. As if I could do anything about it. What a punk. She’s also craving onions, then kicks me in the gallbladder and gives me the kind of indigestion that makes fire come out of my throat. It’s an impressive trick at parties, but does not help   with minty fresh breath. 
  So I’ve decided the child inside of me is Stewie.

  

  Aside from the all evil activities she performs inside my unknowing belly, she’s wreaking havoc on my pocket book. Do you know how much they charge you to squeeze these little parasites out?!!?  Even after my insurance covers their little portion, I still owe almost $3000.
  Chump change, right?
   
  So our already super-tight budget just screamed out it’s last dollar.  Go figure, when you’re broke is when you crave fast food EVERY DAMN DAY.  I miss you, chili cheese dogs. Onion rings, I’ll never forget you. To my dearest .99$ cheeseburgers, you were always my love. And last but not least, five count chicken nuggets, you will always be with me. You’re remembered in my heart. When I win the lottery, I’ll return for you.
   
  Aside from the baby stuff, I’ll be heading to Dallas this week and most of next week so I’m not sure what my xanga-posting schedule will be like. My new kick-ass job is sending me for training  to several of the larger Police Departments to view their crime analyst procedures. It’s a huge opportunity for me, however- I’ll be away from the babies and husband… Suck.  I kinda like them. The don’t make me crave taco bell bean and cheese burritos with extra onions.
   On the upside, I might get to watch grown-up TV for once while I’m at the hotel. I’m so sick and tired of singing Handy Manny’s theme song.  Mickey Mouse is in my dreams… 

  31 Weeks  

  
  Baby update:
  This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.5 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He’s probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby’s kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

  PS, Thanks to my dear Uncle Tim, I have discovered the fantastic talents of Amy Winehouse. She’s apparently more than just a screwed up cocaine addict. Some of the songs I’ve heard from her resemble everything I wanted to be when I grew up: Ella Fitzgerald. I don’t know how I ever imagined some skinny little white girl could become  a world famous black first lady of jazz.  Ms. Winehouse discovered the secret o my dreams and does it well.   I’ve only heard a few of her songs, but so far, everything has been great. As soon as I can afford Taco Bell again, I’ll be purchasing her CD.

  • 10:35 am
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