February 3, 2009

• Life in the HUGE lane

  Scene: Detective is coming down the stairwell of the police department and almost collides with the world’s largest pregnant Crime Analyst.
  Detective: “Holy crap, you’re looking pregnant!”
  Me: “Wow sir, you noticed? Nothing get’s past our top investigator does it?”

  It’s a damn good thing I have a sense of humor. Fortunately, so does he. I was surprised at my work situation: police men are typically not the most sensitive of women’s feelings, but in the past three months of work, the men have really responded kindly. I knew the women would. All the women officers I know are as tough as nails on their suspects and sweet as can be to me.  But the men? One of the head detectives gave me his parking spot so I can be closer to the door from my car. Who knew there was gentlemen hiding underneath those badges?
  Enough about the mushy crap,  I’ve enjoyed the hell out of giving them heart attacks.

  They frequently like to yank my chain about everything and play pranks on me to get a rise out of the new girl.
  My favorite response is to grab my belly and go, “Oh God!” with all the panic I can muster.
  Two of the supervisors have banned me from their office for fear that I’ll “Go into labor all over the place.”
  I’ve serioiusly pouring a glass of water all over the floor from behind me, claiming my water has broken.  Cheesy? Yes. But SO WORTH IT Any other pregnant pranks you can think of?
   Speaking of labor, I really thought yesterday would have brought on early labor. I went to the ER in the early hours of the morning- my grandma went into respiratory arrest.
  between scrambling back and forth from hospital to police department and trying to get my Compstat presentation completed for today, I had my first all-day set of Braxton Hicks. I was begging the baby not to come yet. It’s not that I don’t want to see her, but last weekend, I discovered that all of the girl newborn clothing I’d saved from Caity was lost in the flood of epic proportions last June. I still need a little extra time to accumulate pink squishy things for her to wear.
  Okay, a little selfish of me, but it worked. She’s still in there. I WIN!

  
  35 weeks
  Your baby doesn’t have much room to maneuver now that she’s over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/2 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it’s so snug in your womb, she isn’t likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times she kicks should remain about the same. Her kidneys are fully developed now, and her liver can process some waste products. Most of her basic physical development is now complete — she’ll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

  • 8:13 pm
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